ANATOMY OF A LIE

 This is my attempt at explaining lies, why we lie, the types of lies we have and to possibly get you to see things differently.

HOW SOCIETY VIEWS LYING

Everybody lies, but we don’t generally consider people liars. This is why we’ve created different categories to distinguish between different types of lies and people who lie.

Pathological liars. These people have an impulse to lie about the most inconsequential things. They lie a lot and tend to lose track of previous lies almost immediately and may have to lie some more to keep up. They lie even when there is no clear benefit for them.

Non-pathological liars. In this category, you have a few sub categories including: - Lazy liars - Tactful liars - Avoidant liars - Protective liars - Impressive liars - Manipulative liars

Lazy liars lie because they are too lazy to give the whole detail. They are the type to give distorted recounts of events, intentionally omitting relevant information because they are too lazy to be bothered about it. They usually lie by omission.

Tactful liars lie to avoid hurting your feelings, maintain good social standing, etc. They are the politically correct and generally polite types. They won’t tell you your breath stinks and they won’t tell you your haircut is bad. And when asked, they will lie about it.

Avoidant liars try to evade the truth without outright denying it. They do this by misdirecting the conversation and misstating facts.

Protective liars lie to protect something, their wife, kids, or perhaps their secret love affair etc.

Impressive liars lie to impress. “I own a large Home in Goa, haha, you loser, you don’t even own a bicycle, haha.”

Manipulative liars are what we consider Machiavellians. These are the most dangerous of the lot. They are the best at lying, and their motives usually run deeper than simple outward appearances would have you think.

They lie to get people to do certain things that will benefit the perpetrator, and they are usually the type to go at it with the long game in consideration.

THEN THERE'S YOU! Someone who lies every now and then but always for a ‘good reason.’

TYPES OF LIES BASED ON FORM We have 6 different forms of lies 1.Error 2.Omission 3.Restructuring 4.Denial 5.Minimization & Exaggeration 6.Fabrication

1. Error This is accidental (unintentional) lying. If you grew up believing the earth was flat and when asked if the earth is round replied that it was flat, that would be considered an error.

Although you’re not motivated to lie and have not done so intentionally, you have in fact lied. Since the technical definition of a lie is saying something that is untrue.

This is the third definition of a lie from http://dictionary.com “an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood” not to be confused with definitions 1 and 2 which state “with intent to deceive.”

2. Omission An omission is a type of lie done with the intent to deceive. It is the safest type of lie because the perpetrator will have a lot of plausible deniability. “Oh, I didn’t even remember that” or “Oh, I didn’t think that was important.”

Here you intentionally withhold information in order to indirectly misguide your victim into drawing inaccurate conclusions. This is sophisticated and few people can effectively carry out such a type of lie.

3. Restructuring Here, you misconstrue the facts from an already existing premise. The titanic sank. So was it the titanic? Perhaps not. The premise is that a ship sank. The lie is about which ship actually sank, Titanic or Olympic? Call it tweaking.

4. Denial This is a direct denial of truth/facts. If a man says he is not male, that would be denial. If a woman said she is not female, that would be denial. If I said I live in Dallas, that would be denial.

But, in all cases, someone would first have to assert the truth before denial can take place. “You’re a man?” “You’re a woman” “You do not live in Dallas”

5. Minimization & Exaggeration Minimization and exaggeration (hyperbole) are also forms of lies. Saying you worked forever on a project is lying, because ‘technically’ you did not work forever.

Saying you gave a person your all in a relationship would be lying since ‘technically’ you cannot give a person your all.

(You did not give them your kidney and liver. Plus your mouth is still with you. You are using it to lie).

6. Fabrication This is a type of deception where you fabricate stories or scenarios that never occurred and claim they did. “When I was in xyz” – but you’ve never been to xyz. Fabrication is mostly used to gain charisma.

TYPES OF LIES BASED ON INCENTIVE There are 4 types of lies based on incentive. White lies Black lies Grey lies Red lies

TYPES OF LIES BASED ON INCENTIVE There are 4 types of lies based on incentive. White lies Black lies Grey lies Red lies

WHY WE LIE Humans have different motivations for lying. The four most prominent and persistent reasons for lying include: Gaining esteem Gaining advantage Avoiding punishment Avoiding embarrassment

HOW WE LIE We use fabrication to gain esteem. We use omission, restructuring, and denial to gain an advantage. We use omission, restructuring, and denial to avoid punishment. We use omission, fabrication, and denial to avoid embarrassment.

You were taught from childhood “honesty is the best policy” “liars are bad people” “always tell the truth” etc And this is all great advice. But, did you really form these opinions, or did society input them into your brain?